CFP MONTHLY TIDBIT:
Although October is officially Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness month, several NFL players started increasing public awareness early in 2014.
Beginning in February 2014, Ray Rice, formerly of the Baltimore Ravens, physically attacked his fiancée (now wife) in an elevator, rendering her unconscious. Mid 2014 found Carolina Panther’s Greg Hardy guilty of assaulting a female and communicating threats. Later in 2014, Ray McDonald, with the San Francisco 49ers, was charged with felony domestic violence.
This is NOT about NFL bashing. The fishbowl existence forced onto NFL players offer current examples of DV. DV is not exclusive to NFL players or famous people living on our national stage. One in four women (and, yes, 85% of victims are women) experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Our patriarchal society structurally supported domestic violence for centuries. Until 1970, a man could legally beat his wife – as long as he used a stick no thicker than his thumb. A man could rape his wife without legal charges before July 1, 2002 – yes, you read the date correctly, just several decades ago.
Although the examples used here are from heterosexual relationships, DV in the LGBT community occurs at about the same rate.
The cycle of violence moves from battering to contrite loving behavior – possibly a factor in Ms. Rice’s decision to marry even after her assault was televised – followed by a ‘honeymoon’ phase when tension builds and reignites battering. DV is chronically unreported, for a number of reasons, including fear of reprisal – often well founded as about one-third of female murder victims aged 12 or older are killed by an intimate partner (Office for the Prevention on Domestic Violence).
If you find yourself caught in the cycle of violence, you MUST get out. Call one of the advocacy groups below and make a plan to escape. If someone you know is trapped, please do not judge; maintain connection; you may be their only ‘safe’ person. Contact an advocacy group to educate yourself and support your friend.
Yes, getting out is much easier said than done. Please re-read the above statistic on female murder victims – and if children are in the household, consider their safety. Please at least contact an advocacy group to discuss possibilities. You are not alone.
DV Hotline: 800-799-7233
North Carolina Coalition against Domestic Violence
Guilford County: www.safeandhealthyfamilies.com
Alamance County: www.familyabusesservice.com
Once safely removed from the terror and chaos of DV, please consider working with a psychotherapist such as myself, Julie M. Albert, LCSW, ACSW, trained in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming (EMDR). Please see http://www.emdr.com and learn about this well researched, Department of Defense approved treatment for survivors of trauma. Please see www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTLLfdcJE0Q for a 20/20 presentation on EMDR.
Most importantly, stay safe.
Julie M. Albert, LCSW, ACSW; Julie.firstname.lastname@example.org; 336-274-4669
Latest News: We are pleased to congratulate the original founders of The Center For Psychotherapy: Barbara Metz, PhD and Peter Wohlwend, M.Div., on their recent and well-deserved retirement July 1, 2014! We would also like to welcome the addition of four, new, yet experienced and talented psychotherapists whom have chosen to join our group: Thomas Kebba, MA, Julie Albert, LCSW, Karla Townsend, MA, LMHC, LPC, NCC and Heather Kitchen, LSCW!
Location: We are located in a historic home at 912 North Elm Street in the Fisher Park section of Greensboro, North Carolina. (Near the intersection of N. Elm and Bessemer Ave.) The Center has a relaxed and inviting atmosphere designed to make our clients feel safe and at ease. We have ample parking and are on the Greensboro City bus line.
Mailing address: 912 North Elm Street, Greensboro, NC 27401
Phone: (336) 274-4669 Fax: (336)- 274-4749